A Marriage Just Like Yours

My husband and I enjoy the occasional compliment on how we come across as a married couple. After eighteen years I guess I don’t think about it that much. After all, we are who we’ve always been - kind of goofy and in love. He still chases me around the house (I broke a toe once doing that), I still respond the same way when he asks me to make him a cup of coffee (POOF! You’re a cup of coffee), and we laugh at each other’s stupid jokes. Someone told us about a year ago, “You still act like newlyweds.”

We’ve also gone through our fair share of challenges. An ex-wife who’s completely opposite to our Christian values. A rebellious son. The miscarriage of our first child. Losing a 5-year old grandson to cancer. My diagnosis of Lupus. Other family medical issues and deaths. Financial strain. The ups and downs of everyday life.

Marriage can be that way - goofy and challenging at the same time. Good times, bad times. In sickness and in health. Some have asked how we’ve been able to handle the difficult times and still act like newlyweds. Our answer is always the same.

We each love God more than we love each other.

Because we do, we each have made being the best husband or wife we can be the priority over our own happiness. We’ve also made it a priority over the other’s happiness. We both know that neither one of us will be successful in making the other happy, because whether intentional or not (usually not) one of us will slip up and do something stupid to hurt the other’s feelings.

Our joy comes not from being a happy wife or a happy husband, but from following the Lord and doing His will in our marriage. And that requires time spent on our knees asking for wisdom and grace, and a fair dose of humility.

What does this have to do with raising children to the Lord? Absolutely everything. We become their role models for godly submission and biblical marriage partners. They see the true origin of joy and how it contrasts to situational happiness. They draw strength, stability and reassurance from a marriage built on a Rock and not sinking sand. Challenges, tension and frustration between us are kept in perspective when viewed from the overall picture. And love, real love, is demonstrated in our relationship with each other and with Christ. Our children learn about Jesus because they see Him in us, as our shared focus.

All of which makes bringing our children to Christ that much easier.

The best compliment my husband and I ever received? We’ve heard it actually a couple of times. “When I grow up I want my marriage to be just like yours.”