3 Ideas For Opening Communication Lines

A recent mother-daughter outing resulted in this snapshot

My daughter recently shared a discussion she was part of in her youth group, where the girls were asked who they would turn to if they needed to talk about a problem or concern. Most of the girls said they would turn to a girlfriend, or maybe even a specific teacher or coach - not unusual responses. But one girl surprised her peers with her answer.

She would go to her parents.

Most of the group replied with a “You’re kidding” or “Seriously?” in response to her answer, somewhat dumbfounded that any teenage girl could have such a relationship. Then, as my daughter reported it, many of them remarked how they wish they had that kind of openness with their mom or dad.

Research studies show that our children want that kind of relationship with us, but we have either believed cultural perceptions, gotten ourselves too busy or allowed our own personal faulty thinking to intervene with connecting with our kids.

If we desire to share our faith with our children, if it’s our goal that they learn about the Good News of Jesus Christ, if we want them to experience a personal relationship with a Savior, then we have to open up communication lines with our kids so we have those opportunities to share.

Below are three ideas for doing just that. No rocket science here, folks. Sometimes we just need reminders to do what works.

Schedule a regular parent-child day
I emphasize the word ‘schedule’ here. If your calendar looks anything like our family’s, this activity just won’t happen of its own accord. I also want to emphasize the word ‘regular.’ You determine what would work for you, then tell your child what day(s) are going to be your special get-togethers. Plan with your child what you’re going to do and how long you’ll get to spend with each other.

Make it something that would be totally enjoyable for your child. There shouldn’t be any hidden agenda, such as an educational purpose or a hoped-for spiritual breakthrough. Save those for other times. The goal is to allow you and your child to relax together, encourage conversation, and to get to know each other.

My daughter and I get together once a week, usually over a meal somewhere. With her work schedule and my jam-packed calendar, Thursdays are typically what work best, although we’re flexible if we need to be. Three Thursdays a month we stay local, grabbing a quick bite and spending maybe an hour or so talking. Once a month we make it an all-day affair, throwing in a shopping trip to a mall or something. Spending money is actually optional, but we enjoy trying to find a ridiculous clearance price on an article of clothing, smelling the newest scents at Yankee Candle Co., or making wisecracks about how much of the Victoria’s Secrets model’s beauty is actually natural.

Take advantage of at-home quiet times
Sometimes these are spontaneous and sometimes they can be planned if you know you’re family’s calendar well enough. This is one-on-one time where other family members are gone, or where the rest of the family knows this is your special time together and won’t interrupt you inordinately.

Do an activity of shared interest. Bake a batch of cookies. Build a lean-to. Have a tea party. Erect a race track for a ball bearing. Just you and your child. Have fun, laugh, talk and play together. Relax. Open yourself up for sharing and connecting.

Nobody else in our house particularly likes sci-fi the way my youngest son and I do. We like watching Star Trek. I wouldn’t call us Trekkies, but we definitely share nerdish qualities that the rest of the family just doesn’t get. Same thing with movies based on Marvel comics. Stan Lee is a world-class cultural icon in our eyes. Sometimes we’ll discuss certain things during the TV show or movie, but most of the conversation comes afterwards when we share favorite lines of dialogue, cool action scenes or pretend to zap each other with spidey-goop from our wrists.

Plan those spontaneous moments
Yes, that sounds like an oxymoron. It’s not very spontaneous if you have to plan it, is it? What I’m talking about is springing a surprise on your child that you knew about ahead of time, perhaps as you woke up that morning and decided that you could put aside your usual chores for the afternoon and spend some time with your child.

These are snippets of time together, designed strictly to have a moment of fun in the midst of the typical day. Go for a bike ride. Dash up to Dairy Queen for a Dilly Bar. Play H-O-R-S-E at the basketball court. Go to the playground and dare to go down the slide with your kid. Take your teen out for a driving lesson. Go for a walk.

The overriding theme to these ideas is to have fun and RELAX. You also need to engage with your child. These are times where you want to find out what your child thinks about and what’s going on in his life, not spend time expounding on adult matters.

Connecting with our child one-on-one like this is not about teachable moments, per se. However, regularly interacting with our child like this will open up countless opportunities in the future for sharing what we know is most important: a relationship with a risen Savior.

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Some Interesting Stats For Christian Kids

photo by Newsbie Pix

We regularly receive a newsletter called The Parent Link through our church’s youth ministry. It’s full of good information, ideas and thought-provoking articles to get us parents of teens communicating with our kids.

There’s also a fair amount of disturbing statistics shared in the pages. Chew on some of these:

* In Group Magazine’s annual survey of almost 30,000 Christian teenagers, 52% of kids said “Spending time with my parents is one of my favorite things to do.” But almost 40% said “I’m around my parents a lot, but we rarely have long, enjoyable conversations.”

* More than two-thirds (69%) of young people approve of living together before marriage. And almost half (49%) of “churched” kids approve of this arrangement. (Gallup Poll)

* Studying a group he calls “Mosaics,” those born between 1984 and 2002, Kinnaman found that 84% of those young people knew at least one committed Christian, but only 15% of this same group could see a difference in lifestyle between themselves and their self-proclaimed Christian friends. (David Kinnaman, author of Unchristian: What A New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity)

Stats like these tell me we have work to do. It’s not enough to presume that our child falls outside these figures. Unless we know otherwise for sure, we have to actively disciple our children in God’s truths and exemplify them daily in our lives at home, at work and in the community.

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Your Week In Review

photo by Noel Zia Lee

On Monday I wrote an article about planning for the week ahead how you were going to deliberately witness the gospel to your child. It’s now the end of the week, and I have one question for you to think about:

What was the most important thing that happened between you and your child this week?

Think about that and how it will impact any decisions you make for the upcoming week. Will you do anything differently? Will you improve your effort for connecting with your child?

Was God glorified in your relationship with your child at all this week?

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Those Inside Family Jokes

photo by cesarastudillo

Our family spent this past Saturday running some shopping errands, capping it off with a pizza dinner at one of our local restaurants. We arrived home completely stuffed and trying to decide what we would do for the rest of the evening.

We have an older home, and one of the features we like so much is it’s pocket doors. Our downstairs bathroom has a small one. We simply pull the door along its track to open or close it.

After we got home from dinner I went in to use the restroom and discovered that the door had come off its track on the back end. I could close it, but there was an interesting slant to the door, leaving an ever widening opening for any Tom, Dick or Peeping Harry to peer through if they wanted to. It didn’t do much for my sense of privacy.

“Hon,” I asked my husband, “did you know the bathroom door is broken?”

It was news to him, but he proceeded to inspect it and then began ordering for the toolbox. “Do the kids know anything about this?’ he asked. One by one we questioned each child.

“I didn’t do it.”
“It worked fine for me earlier.”
“I haven’t even used that bathroom today.”

The second go round didn’t elicit any change in the answers, so it left us with the only obvious answer to the mystery.

Helen did it.

Helen has been living with us for a number of years. She doesn’t show her face. She’s moved with us each time we changed addresses. We don’t have to feed her or anything, although she has cost us several trips to the hardware store and untold hours of searching for things that have utterly disappeared.

She does, however, bear the brunt of blame anytime something goes wrong that no one knows anything about.

“Where are the shoes I had left right here?” (I don’t know…. I haven’t seen ‘em…. What shoes?)

Helen hid them under the bed.

“Who made this mess in the kitchen?” (Not me…. Probably (fill in sibling’s name)…. That’s not my mess…. What mess?).

Helen did it.

“How did all this dirt get on the carpet?” (I haven’t been in this room…. (fill in sibling’s name) just came in from the outside…. I always take my shoes off…. What dirt?).

Helen again. She’s never around to defend herself, so I guess I shouldn’t feel too sorry for her. She has, however, become quite a fixture in our family. I do have to wonder, though.

Whose house will she end up in when all the kids have grown and moved out on their own?

Those inside family jokes make for interesting memories, especially when shared around the dinner table or while scanning family photo albums. It’s just another way to connect, and the more we’re able to connect with our children, the easier it becomes to open discussion about heart issues and sharing God’s truths. What inside joke does your family have?

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Noah's Ark - For Real?

Wouldn't this make the coolest family outing ever?

Contractor Johan Huibers built this replica of Noah's Ark to try and renew interest in Christianity in the Netherlands. The ark sits in Schagen where it opened to visitors in the spring of 2007.

He began construction of it in May 2005. The ark is 150 cubits long, 30 cubits high and 20 cubits wide. That's two-thirds the length of a football field and as high as a three-story house. However, by biblical accounts, the actual ark was five times larger.


Huibers built the ark of cedar and pine. Biblical Scholars debate exactly what the wood used by Noah would have been. He did the work mostly with his own hands, using modern tools and with occasional help from his son Roy. On the uncovered top-deck, not quite ready in time for the opening, will come a petting zoo, with baby lambs, chickens, goats, and one camel.


Life-size models of giraffes, elephants, lions, crocodiles, zebras, bison and other animals greet visitors as they arrive in the main hold.

Visitors on the first day were stunned. 'It's past comprehension', said Mary Louise Starosciak, who happened to be bicycling by with her husband while on vacation when they saw the ark looming over the local landscape.

There is enough space near the keel for a 50-seat film theater where kids can watch a video that tells the story of Noah and his ark. On the third level there are exhibits of ancient tools, old-fashioned barrels, exotic stuffed animals and a wax model of Noah.

Meet Johan Huibers, the man with a vision and a heart for the Dutch people.

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come. Psalm 71:18

Who would be most excited about visiting a site like this, your child - or YOU!

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5th Grade Assignment

Friend Sue Beck sent me an email wih a really cute story about how a bunch of fifth graders used commercial jingles to put the focus on God. Made me think of how Whoopi Goldberg's character in Sister Act adapted some rock/pop songs to draw in people from the neighborhood to her church.

Then I thought, HEY, that might make for a fun family game to play. One night around the dinner table, see how many commercial jingles your kids can come up with that can be adapted for honoring or exemplifying God.

Have fun!

A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results:
God is like BAYER ASPIRIN He works miracles.
God is like a FORD He's got a better idea.
God is like COKE He's the real thing.
God is like HALLMARK CARDS He cares enough to send His very best.
God is like TIDE He gets the stains out that others leave behind.
God is like GENERAL ELECTRIC He brings good things to life.
God is like SEARS He has everything.
God is like ALKA-SELTZER Try Him, you'll like Him
God is like SCOTCH TAPE You can't see Him, but you know He's there.
God is like DELTA He's ready when you are.
God is like ALLSTATE You're in good hands with Him.
God is like VO-5 Hair Spray He holds through all kinds of weather.
God is like DIAL SOAP Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did?
God is like the U.S.POST OFFICE Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.
God is like CHEVROLET. . .the heart beat of America.
God is like MAXWELL HOUSE Good to the very last drop.
God is like BOUNTY. . . He is the quicker picker upper. . can handle the tough jobs, and He won't fall apart on you.

Now it's your turn. What can you come up with?

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James 3 - Taming The Tongue

I recently saw this video on friend Karla Meachem's site, Empowering Christian Women. Whew, talk about hitting you right between the eyes. I have found myself exemplifying this kind of behavior just a few more times than I want to admit.

Think about all the things it says to our children:

• Our home life and church life don't have to match.
• Other people outside our family are more important.
• Our Christian walk is relative to our circumstances.
• Hypocrisy is fine as long as you are a church-going family.

What does this video say to you?



Please help the ministry at TGMT spread its message to parents who need to hear its teachings. Share a link to it in your Facebook, MySpace or Twitter accounts and let your friends know about it!

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Making Connections With Our Children

photo by Andrew Eick

For many folks Saturdays represent a break in the work week, but an opportunity to catch up on household chores and projects. For the Christian family, it should represent an opportunity to spend some time connecting with each other. It really is too easy to just let everybody go their own way, and admittedly, as our children get older that’s exactly what happens.

Still, a lot of benefit can be gained from spending an hour together working on a project. I’m a firm believer that quantity time with our children is more important than quality time. The quality comes with the establishment of a genuine relationship between you and your child, where your own child learns to enjoy your company, not in sporadic snippets of deep, profound conversation.

Regularly spending time like this allows for all sorts of connection points, everything from sharing the joys and frustrations of the week to planning for the future to reminiscing about the past. And all these connection points open up the possibility of sharing the gospel with your child.

Besides, sharing a chore or project for an hour teaches your child about all kinds of character issues: stewardship of our possessions, service to the family, self-discipline, cheerful generosity (that’s a hard one), and real self esteem that comes from accomplishment (not the fake self esteem that comes from obligatory manufactured flattery).

We have two pumpkins that have been sitting on our front porch steps that I’ve been meaning to carve and draw out the seeds to dry so they can be roasted. And an attic that’s been taken over by chaos. I'll throw on some hot chocolate, toss the chicken into the crock pot and corral the troops. Oh, I see the potential for a lot of connecting going on today.

How about you? What can you and your child do today that will open up avenues of connection?

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How To Make Fall A God-Glorifying Time

photo by Kevitivity

Fall is hands down my favorite season. I love the cooler temperatures, the changing leaves, and frankly, getting back to the comfort foods that come in crockpots and roasting pans. My favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, falls during autumn, and for our family this is a heavy birthday season (5 out of 6 of our birthdays are in November).

One of the many ways we can teach our children about God is to introduce Him as the magnificent Creator. Getting our children out in nature can create awe, wonder and a sense of thankfulness as they see His hand in the world around them. It requires two things:

• We have to leave the comfort and convenience of our routine and, possibly, our electronics;
• We need to engage our children in nature and not just drive them to it (Isn’t that great kids? Now, let’s go home….).

Over the years we’ve taken our children to a variety of places, some down the road a bit, some right in our backyard. It’s a matter of keeping your eyes and ears open for opportunities to take advantage of. Talk to friends, read the local paper, get information from your public library or area tourism center, or possibly the internet.

Here are some ideas we’ve capitalized on:

Pumpkin patches were always a big hit when our children were younger. A lot of these places made it a total experience with hay rides, fresh donuts and cider, and maybe even a small petting zoo of farm animals.

Now that they’re older, we’ve enjoyed going to corn mazes. These may be more available in the Midwest than elsewhere. These are A LOT of fun. My two youngest, who would rather curl up in a corner and read a good book, become intrepid adventurers in a corn maze. And there’s still the hay ride, fresh donuts and cider and baby chicks to hold.

Farmers markets are a good place to visit in the fall. When we lived in north Georgia we would frequent local apple orchards and stock up on both eating and baking varieties. The smells were delicious.

Migrating animals offer possibilities, as well. About 45 minutes from where we lived in Indiana there was a state fish and wildlife area where Sand Hill cranes would come by the thousands to roost on their way south for the winter. These birds are about four feet tall with a wing span of six and a half feet. They’re huge. As the sun sets their forms fill the sky, much like the winged monkeys in The Wizard Of Oz. At their peak they will reach 10,000 in number. Talk about awe-inspiring.

Our children are not equally inclined toward nature. My youngest son probably has the greatest affinity for it. Nonetheless, we felt these kinds of trips were needful for helping our children see God in His glory. Without making it a running dialogue, they heard us praise His name for His creation, point out the intricacies He designed into nature and thank Him for his provision of our needs. In turn, they saw God in everything.

Helping your child develop a thankful heart and a sense of awe about their Creator is an effective step in turning their hearts and minds toward the God who can save them. His creation provides just the tool you need to do that.

As for us, I’m waiting for just enough leaves to fall. Then we’re going to the park, the one with the river running through it, and we’re goin’ shufflin’. I love shufflin’.

What’s your favorite season and how do you see God in it?

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Connecting With Our Children, Marathon Style

photo by austinsdkeyscouter

Purposeful parenting seeks ways to grow in relationship with our children so that we may have opportunities, perhaps later, for discussing things. Like why dogs chase their tails. Or whether a twister can really lift a house off the ground and transport you to Munchkin Land. And why unrequited love really stinks. Important stuff.

Christian parenting adds the extra element of creating opportunity for integrating God and His truths into the discussion. One fun way of creating those opportunities is doing something marathon style that involves the whole family.

I mentioned that our family really likes watching movies and that we’re especially fond of old classics. Ever had a movie marathon? You decide on either a theme or a particular actor and then spend the whole day watching movies pertaining to your decision.

Put aside convention when it comes to your usual routine for that day. We like to have our movie marathons on Saturdays. We start mid-afternoon and sometimes don’t finish until late night. Or until the last one of us is awake, whichever comes first. We don’t break for a meal but instead load the coffee table up with as much junk food as we can, with a few cut veggies and Ranch dip thrown in to offset the guilt. Frozen pizza tossed into the oven is as close to an entrée as we get.

Most of the time our focus is on comedy. It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World is four hours long and constitutes a marathon all by itself. We own just about all the Marx Brothers movies which really help hone our one-liners. We’re also fond of some British humor. Any of the Mr. Bean series is great, and we have a collection of Fawlty Towers, a short-lived BBC comedy series starring John Cleese. It’s hysterical, you have to check it out.

Sometimes we’ll do a western theme, sometimes Disney, sometimes movies portraying victory through challenge like Iron Will or any of the Rocky films. And we’ve been known just to mix and match two or three of family member’s choices.

Game marathons are another idea. It’s basically the same premise as a movie marathon, except all the junk food is sitting around the edge of the kitchen table waiting for elbows to send it flying. So, we do take breaks while playing games because salsa is not good for the dog to lick up off the floor. Not if he’s going to stay in the same room with us.

Unless you’re dealing with issues of sportsmanship, in which case a timeout for mom and dad may be in order {{knowing grin}}, God may not specifically come into this time you spend together as a family. What it does allow you is time to connect, have fun and grow in closeness which does make it easier to discuss God in other areas.

The truth is, though, God is in it. Because you’re doing this as a deliberate, purposeful way of growing with your children so that you may teach them about Him, He will bless these efforts as a way of coming together in His name.

So, that being said, I have a coupon for a free movie from Blockbuster burning a hole in my purse. What’ll it be tonight?

What's your favorite junk food to pig out on for movie night? Tell me about it by leaving a comment.

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The Fine Art Of Manipulation

photo by Corey Leopold

A week ago today our town had its annual fine arts festival. Actually it’s a collection of festivals. The Sugar Creek Symphony and Song Festival brought their opera singers and performed The Elixir Of Love in our newly renovated theater. The Cherry Street Arts Festival brought various craftspeople in, exhibiting their talents and wares for purchase.

There was a music group called Incendio playing under the shade of a canopy, providing Latino infusion-styled music that was absolutely fabulous. My husband, not necessarily known for his reserved nature, was cha-cha-ing between vendor booths, trying desperately to get me to kick my heels up with him. I was too busy drooling over the homemade jams and salsas at another booth.

We brought both of our children with us, and both of them displayed mild interest in what was going on. At one point they bummed a couple of dollars off of me to get a drink and a cinnamon roll, but otherwise they were as excited as roasting turnips baking in the ground.

Inside our town’s historic old courthouse were various presentations, including some historical reenactments of locally famous people and operatic performances of select scenes from Hansel and Gretel and A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I really wanted to take advantage of the opportunity, especially since admission was only five dollars per person.

The children were lukewarm toward the idea. Admittedly, I took kind of a whiny attitude about the whole thing. “Come on,” I pleaded. “I really want to hear what they’ve put together.”

In truth, I had done my research and knew the operatic talent was top notch, not some bunch of hayseeds with nasal twangs trying to sound like diva wannabes. I also knew that my daughter, who wants to major in music and is considering a school with an opera program, would flip out if she would give the performers a chance. On top of that, she loves Shakespeare and is familiar with all of his comedies. Don’t ask me how I got such a culturally minded kid, but I knew, I just knew this performance could prove to be an exciting turn-on for her.

I was right, of course. We were blown away by the talent, and although the staging and props were rustic my daughter absolutely loved the show. Even my son, who didn’t want to go in at all, was impressed with what he witnessed.

Our children often don’t want to admit that we may know more about their interests and heart’s desire than they do, or that something we enjoy could be mutually enjoyed by them. Sometimes we have to manipulate the circumstances just enough, perhaps even make them think they’re doing us a favor, to get them exposed to things that will “do them some good”.

It’s been fun listening to my daughter during the past week as she practices her scales and breaks into a spontaneous aria. I just smile. Smugly, perhaps, but I smile.

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A Pictorial Devotion

" Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two maidservants. He put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.

But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.
Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. “Who are these with you?” he asked.

Jacob answered, “They are the children








God has graciously given your servant.” Genesis 33: 1-5.

Read this short story from the Bible to your child, however young or old he or she is. Then look deeply into your child’s eyes and say, “You are the child the Lord has so graciously given me. I love you and God loves you.”

Don’t let anyone fool you that doing devotions is complicated or difficult. Enjoy your weekend with your family.

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Between Those Teachable Moments

photo by Benimoto

I did it. I got out on the ice myself. I stood beside my son (well, I wobbled beside him) and we tried our best, together, to get around the rink.

The last time I took my children ice skating I watched from the side lines. Not being an athletically inclined family my son and daughter both took their fair share of spills as they fought the pull of gravity. My daughter kept at it. My son gave up in frustration because his proficiency wasn’t happening quickly enough for him.

His frustration became my frustration, only mine was focused on his lack of perseverance and bad attitude. It finally dawned on me that if I had joined him on the ice instead of cheering - or goading - from the side lines, he’d of had an easier time of learning the character traits I was demanding he display.

So, here it was, two months later and I had a chance to rectify my parenting ineptness. I laced up, gingerly stepped out on the ice, and hoped that my never having ice skated before wouldn’t be too obvious as I hugged the wall.

Around the rink my son and I went, both of us sharing goofy grins and making faces at each other. I commented that he looked like he had remembered much of what he learned the first time on the ice. He answered, “I gave it a lot of thought. I don’t have to be like those guys who are whizzing around. I’m okay with keeping on trying until I get better at it on my own.” And with that he left me clinging to the wall as he worked on his agility and speed all by himself.

Oh. I really wish my kids would give me a heads up when they’ve learned something I tried teaching them before I risk my life for the sake of conquering this parental sacrifice stuff.

I couldn’t get the boy off the ice. Although he never got up to the same speed as many of the other kids who were there, at the end of our rink time he had a pretty good handle on gliding. And a smile that lit up the arena.

I had a hard time keeping up with him. I attempted putting one foot in front of the other for several laps, shouting encouragement to my son each time he lapped me. I fell at one point, and determined to demonstrate the ol’ get-back-up-on-the-horse mentality, I told everyone I was fine and kept going. I went one more round and called it a day. My version of taking one for the team doesn’t include any more than three bruises at a time.

It’s a continuous learning process, this parenting stuff. My children are always surprising me with how much they learn in between those teachable moments. I’m reminded constantly, however, that my willingness to invest in them will never come back empty, especially if God is in the center of my teaching.

Inside The Mind Of A Christian Girl

Can I get away with an unashamed plug for my daughter’s new blog? She’s decided to share her thoughts and memories of the two mission trips she’s been on, the first to Jamaica, the last to Lincoln, Nebraska. Both have been exceptional learning experiences for her, although for different reasons. A lot of what she shares tends to be activity-based (first we did this, then we did that…), but she also opens her thoughts and feelings for inspection as she comes to terms with being a Christian teen in today’s world.

You might find it interesting to crawl inside the mind of a fifteen year old girl and see things through her perspective. I did. It led to some deep discussion and intimate sharing between us. Maybe it’ll help you relate better to your daughter.

It’s called Way of Shiloh. Leave a comment to bolster her spirit.

Nostalgic Revelations

photo by Poohka

We still have a few boxes left to unpack from our move, mostly books and knick knacks and other miscellanea. I gave my son the job yesterday of sorting through all the DVDs and VHS tapes and putting them away. I didn’t think it would take as long as it did, but he couldn’t resist reading the back covers of all the movies. And we have a lot of movies.

We have our fair share of home movies, also. Last night, James waxed nostalgic and asked if we could watch one of the old tapes. He pulled one that said “1995 Family” and popped it in.

I had forgotten that my children were ever that little. James was seven months old and his sister was 2 ½, and a little later in the video their older brothers, aged nine and ten, showed up. They were all so cute. James mostly gurgled and ate his fist, Rachel spoke like Elmer Fudd, and both Steven and his brother Michael were just beginning their pre-teen swagger. I couldn’t help but enjoy myself thoroughly as I watched and remembered. Picture a lot of smiling and contented sighs.

Watching the videotape of my young family made me realize two things, though.

I have to take more pictures. I’m terrible about getting the camera out and remembering to use it. I allow myself to get way too busy with ‘life’ that I never get around to recording ‘life’. We also need to come up to the 21st century and get a digital one to replace the antiquated Brownie we have now. Maybe that would make it easier to use since I wouldn’t have to wait for a whole roll to be used up and then wait on it to be developed and pay for pictures that never come out.

They grow up way too fast. Every parent knows this. The enormity of that statement, however, was a lot more tangible as I watched my daughter sing “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt” in the bathtub, knowing that at this moment she’s over 500 miles away serving on a mission team. Or that her older brothers are no longer baby-faced boys pulling their toys out from under the Christmas tree, but men with responsibilities and challenges and battles of their own to fight. Or that her younger brother, who loved nothing more than to crawl up into his mother’s lap, can barely fit his lanky frame on the couch when he wants to rest his head on his mom’s shoulder.

We really have so little time with them before they’re out in the world on their own. Can we afford to squander their walk with God, hoping they’ll one day “get it”? Can we justify not teaching them about the Lord of the universe because we are too busy to get around to it?

Do we realize we will never have this time back once it’s gone?

The Family That Plays Together, Stays Together

photo by KitAy

Every opportunity you create for you and your child to be together is an opportunity to talk, share and grow in character. And although every opportunity won’t extend into a discussion of the gospel, odds are, at some point, the topic will come up (if you take advantage of it). At the very least you will have ample opportunity to demonstrate Christian character for your child to model.

But, if you’re like me, you’re sometimes just too brain dead to think up ideas of what to do. Movie night, again. Same old board games, again. Take a walk to the park, again. There has to be some variety we could introduce, here.

Want ideas and inspiration? Go to The Homespun Heart’s page on themed Family Fun Nights. This family has the right idea when it comes to connecting with their children. What I like best is the simplicity of most of the plans. Togetherness does not have to be complicated or elaborate.

If nothing else, the pictures of her cherubic children will put a smile on your face!

Dads, don’t think this is a “mom” thing just because the blog’s author is a woman and she has all these creative ideas. I’m sure you have a trick or two up your sleeve. Pitching a tent or building a lean-to can be just as fun as baking cookies or picking flowers. This kind of togetherness implies activity of all kinds.

Although the activities on The Homespun Heart are geared for young children, I feel inspired. I feel like running to Wal-Mart in preparation for a paddleball night!

What kind of family night activities have you done? Share some of your ideas here.

Painting, Martin Luther And Connecting With Our Children

photo by Wharman
What in the world could those three have in common? I had said in an earlier post that we can’t always connect with our children in a meaningful way, but if we continue creating opportunities for being together, eventually that connection will happen. The key is to always be ready to witness the Truth of Jesus Christ to our children. That’s how “real” missionaries do it.

My daughter, Rachel, is making the transition into a smaller bedroom in our new house. Actually, transition is a misnomer. She has yet to figure out what to do with all her stuff, except find a blank spot on the floor or keep it in a box in her closet. Neither one suffices for a solution. I’ve come up with an idea for building a desktop/storage unit, but I wanted to paint the room first before installing it.

So yesterday we began the process of priming the walls, corralling her brother into helping us with the project. We closed the door to keep the dog out and opened windows to let fresh air in.

Conversation was pretty light, at first. That is, until Rachel stepped on the wet paint can lid with her bare feet and began leaving her five-toed identification all over the drop cloth. Conversation tends to pick up when someone’s hopping on one foot around paint trays and step ladders.

The beautiful chimes of St. Edmund’s Catholic Church in town began chiming, and I made an off-hand remark about whether they’d consider a request for a Protestant hymn to be played instead from time to time. So started a conversation about religion vs. relationship, works vs. faith, and how important it is to read the Bible for one’s self to determine the validity of anyone’s teaching.

I have to say, it was a very balanced discussion. We spent just as much time lamenting evangelicals as we did anyone else. At one point, Martin Luther’s name came up and the stand he took for promoting personal scripture reading and a faith-based relationship with the Lord. My son spoke admiringly of his famous words, that if he had done anything wrong according to scripture then he would accept the required punishment for his activities.

After that the conversation turned to the finer points of Weird Al Yankovic’s music and the children were lost in another direction (don’t ask me). Nonetheless, I was pleased for the few moments we had to discuss godly truths and how they apply in our lives. Apparently painting a room is more conducive to discussing theology than yard work is. Go figure.

Missionaries are always “on” for sharing the gospel, utilizing opportunities as they arise to talk, teach, exemplify and demonstrate. Christian parents, as missionaries in their own home, are, by God’s design, always “on” also. Design lots of opportunities for you and your child to be together, whether in work, hobby or other leisure time activity. Whether you share the gospel during these times or not, they will increase you and your child’s connect-ability over time.

Related Links:
Following Our Forefathers?
Why We Should Read The Bible To Our Children
Hooking Up With Missionaries

Summertime And The Connecting Is Easy

photo by dawnzy

It can be easy during the lazy days of summer to fall lax on our commitment to connect with our children. The family routine goes on vacation just as much as the school routine does. It is very, very important to diligently strive to keep the lines of communication open with our children. You just never know when the perfect opportunity for witnessing our faith will come up.

Here’s a recent string of conversations I had while my daughter and son were helping do yard chores with me to illustrate that point.

Me: You know what I’m most thankful for right now?
James: What?
Me: Shade.
James: Yep.

Me: Rachel?
Rachel: (iPod in her ears)
Me: Rachel?

Dog: whine, whine, whine

James: Is there any gas in this thing?
Me: You’re supposed to check that before you start.
James: Yeah.

Me: Rachel?
Rachel: (iPod still in her ears)
Me: Rachel, that’s not a weed, that’s a flower.
Rachel: (iPod still in ears)

James: Die, mosquito, die!

Me: Rachel?
Rachel: (iPod firmly in ears)
Me: Rachel, will you weed by the front porch?
Rachel: What?
Me: Will you weed by the front porch?
Rachel: (Taking one earplug out) What?
Me: Will you weed by the front porch?
Rachel: (Taking the other earplug out) What?
Me: Will - you - weed - by - the - front - porch?!

Me: James, the side over here needs to be cut. We can be good neighbors and do part of their yard.
James: (Coming back outside after making it halfway in the house because he thought he was done; grumbling heard under his breath)

Rachel: How much longer do we have to work?
Me: (Invoking my God-ordained authority) Until we’re done.
(Do your children hate that answer as much as mine?)

Okay, so the subject of the Gospel didn’t come up, and my children need a little more character training in work ethic around the house, and working together doing yard chores probably didn’t rank up there with going to the amusement park or something. But, we keep working at it until those moments open up and we connect in a vivid, deep, exciting way. They’ll happen if we keep creating the opportunities.

Children, The 5th Commandment, And A Little White Dog

I saw the most amazing thing the other day. As I was leaving to run some errands I noticed a little puff of a white dog coming down the sidewalk on our street. I recognized him as the pet of one of our neighbors, but I had never seen him out alone. He was always being walked on a leash - on the sidewalk, come to think of it.

He wasn’t wandering into the street or stopping to sniff someone’s yard. He stayed completely on the sidewalk, seemingly walking with a set destination in mind. He then came to the intersection, stopped, turned to his right, looked both ways for traffic (I swear he did), and safely crossed the street - to the next sidewalk.

He walked past the house on the corner, came to the front walk leading to his owner’s home, turned right and proceeded up the front walk to the porch steps. No short cuts through the lawn, just staying on the sidewalk the whole time.

I stood there thinking, “How did they do that?! They trained their dog to walk himself!” I turned and looked at our black lab mix who has a habit of standing on his hind legs to look out the window in our front door as I leave for anywhere. There he was, smearing his nose all over the window, the same dumb Odie look he always has on his face.

“What’s the matter with you? Why can’t you do that?” I asked. He seemed to grin at me, his tongue hanging out, more slop running down the window. Hopeless.

You know where I’m going with this. Now, I’m not saying that children are like dogs who need to receive the proper handling and training to do well in life (although the Bible does say for us to train up a child in the way he should go). Consistent and purposeful instruction, however, led that little white dog to look after his own needs. If someone could get a dog with a brain the size of a walnut to do that, surely we can work with our children to a greater good.

It’s a sad commentary when I hear a parent give the usual response when they hear we homeschool our children. “I could never do that. My children don’t listen to me now as it is.” One of these days I’m going to say what I’m thinking: “And why is that?”

Educational choice aside, if our children are not listening to us and giving us the respect that biblically belongs to us, that’s nobody’s fault but our own. We will never be able to teach our children about Jesus if we don’t first teach them to honor us.

Teach your child the fifth commandment, which Paul says was the first commandment with a promise - “Honor your father and your mother… so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land your God is giving you” (Dt 5:16). The reason your child will live long and well? Because in honoring you he listens to what you teach him about God, thus living a life fruitful and pleasing to the Lord. Consistent and purposeful instruction.

Awesome. I’m going to go walk the dog and think on that.

Our Child’s Best Teacher

My youngest was flipping through a photo album the other day and came across this picture of himself when he was about five or six. He chuckled and pointed me toward the picture. “Remember this?” he asked. “I was making pancakes and you caught me.”

I remembered it well. For some reason then he developed quite a craving for pancakes in the morning. At first I was tickled to make them and watch him enjoy every morsel of it. Going into the third week, however, I tired of exerting that much effort for breakfast, but I couldn’t convince him that cold cereal was just as good a choice.

Instead, I decided to make him part of the process. If he wanted pancakes for breakfast, he would have to pitch in and help make them. I thought he would decide against it, thus giving me my out from having to cook in the morning. Just the opposite happened. He took great joy in learning to measure the flour, mix the batter, and under my careful supervision, cook the pancakes on the griddle. Day after day we did this until he pretty much could do it without referring to the recipe.

Early one Saturday morning while the house was still and quiet, I heard noises coming from the back of the house. It took a moment to register, but I finally recognized the sounds of kitchen clatter. And I knew, I just knew, it was my pancake king. I snuck to the kitchen door and snapped a picture.

Our children love coming along side us and learning. We have so much to offer them, if we but take the time to share what we know with love, patience and consistency. Whether it’s teaching them how to make pancakes, hit a baseball, choose their first car or know Christ, no one can teach them like we can. We are our children’s best teacher.

Related Articles:
Helping Your Child Find His Way Around The Bible, Part 1
Helping Your Child Find His Way Around The Bible, Part 2
Helping Your Child Find His Way Around The Bible, Part 3