Influenced In The Wrong Direction

I worked as an RN in the Emergency Department for many years before becoming a stay-at-home mom. To a large extent and out of necessity, I had to distance myself emotionally from the patients who visited the ED. Otherwise, I knew I’d go nuts. Not every patient could be saved, and there were cases that’d come in that would test my sanity and logic, no matter how seasoned I was.

I had spent about six years in a teaching position, but returned to working in the Emergency Department for a short time between the births of my two children. I was a strong Christian. I was faithful in my Bible reading, church attendance and Sunday school involvement. I didn’t engage in the running gossip among my coworkers, I didn’t allow their foul language to insert itself into my own conversation, and I connected easily with the few Christians I encountered.

Nonetheless, I found myself being pulled into an attitude of cynicism towards the patients, the very people who came to us for help. Part of that cynicism came from the protective wall I had built to help keep out difficult emotions, but most of it came from the ungodly character of some of the stronger personalities in the department. Over time I found myself joining their sarcasm. I questioned the legitimacy of certain patient’s complaints, wondered where some of them stood intellilectually, and doubted they understood much of what was going on with their bodies. And what was with the drunks, perverts and sickos? Did they not know how to treat others with respect and dignity?

Look who was calling the kettle black. I didn’t even recognize how cynical I had become until I had the benefit of retrospect after the birth of our youngest. I had really allowed myself to be sucked in to the prevailing attitude. I don’t think it transferred over into my patient care, but then again, maybe I was blind to that, too.

Surrounding yourself with unspiritual people gives you great opportunity to witness to the truth of Jesus Christ, but very few of us actually act so boldly as to be the great evangelizer at work, around the Little League baseball field, or among the social clubs or committees we belong to. We may have expectations of bringing them up, but in truth they tend to bring us down.

If our goal is to increase our comfort level in speaking the name of Jesus so we can be an effective witness to our own children, then we need to increase our exposure to those people who will influence us positively in that direction. More on this tomorrow.