photo by di_the_huntress
I love Mother’s Day. I love the fact that it falls on a Sunday and that we get to celebrate it in our church worship services. Everyone is all hugs and smiles, the moms tend to be more dressed up than usual, and there’s just an air of sweet nostalgia that hangs over everything.
Today our church’s praise team leader read from the book of Samuel, describing from the first chapter Hannah’s anguish in not being able to conceive a child. As her words poured out across the page, her pain was palpable, heart rending and real. She so badly wanted a child that she poured everything she felt out before the Lord.
I felt a tug at my heart, one that triggered a memory that had quieted over the years, but had never ever left my mind. Nineteen years ago I was lying on an exam table in my obstetrician’s office. I was twelve weeks pregnant and the doctor had scheduled an ultrasound to listen for fetal heart tones. I was anticipating the joy of hearing life for the first time within me.
Instead we were met with a deafening silence. We discovered that the child I was carrying had perished within me. I was quickly scheduled for a D&C, but what I felt torn from me could only be answered with tears and a heart that screamed in grief-stricken anguish.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day with chocolates, flowers and special dinners, I’m reminded that not everything in life comes with guarantees. Sometimes, because of unfortunate genetics, we lose a child or give birth to one who will go through life with challenges. Sometimes, because of ill judgment on our part or otherwise, we bring a child into the world we weren’t prepared for.
Sometimes, just because, we’re faced with circumstances beyond our control and we find ourselves crying out to God in our confusion and pain, wondering how we can possibly get through what seems like insurmountable trial ahead of us.
That’s when it helps to realize that we’re not required to do this mothering role by ourselves. We don’t have to be that strong or that resilient or that whatever to come out victorious.
We have a God who knew us before we were born, who knows the very number of hairs on our heads and who cares for us and our circumstances. In fact, He’s always been here and has promised that He will never forsake us. How awesome is that?
After the passage from Samuel was read our church’s praise team sang the song You Are God Alone from Phillips, Craig and Dean. It was the perfect song to perform. I want to share it with you here in a video. If you’re a mom who is struggling with certain challenges, in spite of the fact that everyone around you thinks you should be celebrating this very special day, I pray this song will remind you that you don’t have to go it alone.
Our God is so good. Trust in Him to see you through.
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